On Nonattachment and the Nature of Our Changing Bodies

As the summer season in Rockaway winds down and we pause to reflect on our intentions for the remainder of the year, let’s agree to be gentle with ourselves and our bodies. One of the simplest ways to do this is by practicing nonattachment to both our physical appearance and our abilities of the past.

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” –Heraclitus

There are only a small number of certainties in life. One of them is change. Permanence does not exist. Expecting our bodies to look and perform the same throughout every season of life is not realistic.

This is not about mere self acceptance, which can be misconstrued with complacency, or, alternatively, the lofty goal of no longer caring about what you look like. It’d be foolish to suggest it’s easy to overcome society’s unrealistic and unattainable beauty standards when you consider that we are inundated with them since childhood. That is lifelong work. You’re not alone if you still struggle with an internal duality that pressures you to conform and then punishes you for wanting to adhere to expectations you don’t believe in. The guilt and confusion is real for many of us. It’s not easy to exist in the modern world – especially when the call is coming from inside the house.

So, how can one find peace with oneself during these moments of internal contradiction? Nonattachment.

Does your body look different than it did before the weather got warm? Have you been prioritizing socializing with loved ones over your exercise routine? Do you suddenly feel the urge to double down on your diet and fitness efforts in order to get “back” to where you “were”?

Pause. Practice nonattachment to the way you look right now. Know that it will change. The same way that your body changed before your eventful summer. The same way that it will always change. Sometimes we gain weight and it’s not permanent. Sometimes we lose weight and it’s not permanent. Becoming attached to one version of ourselves creates striving, which takes us out of the present moment and causes anxiety.

Take a few minutes to reflect and allow yourself to feel however you feel. Don’t try to suppress it, but don’t cling to it, either. Simply accept the emotion and let it flow through you like a wave. Notice what comes up and work to accept it.

If acceptance feels out of reach right now, remember the nature of impermanence and practice nonattachment. Ease back into your routine and focus on how good it feels to move again. Cherish the memories you made–this summer will never happen again!